Secret Mommy-hood Confession Saturday

Hey there! If you’re not into hearing a mom entrepreneur gripe and talk about financial and family and spiritual matters, maybe you’d like to check out Why Bigger Isn’t Better For Your Blog? instead?

Yes, I’ve got a psychic and I know how to use her when the world seems to go to shit.

It’s been a shitty week to say the least.

I almost felt like an all-around-failure.

Almost. But I stopped myself.

Let me explain.

The kids are sick.

Still.

I got sick.

Of course.

Somehow though they’re sick they can make a big bloody mess and are too sick to clean it up.

Somehow, though I’ve been sick, I’ve still gotta cook dinner. And clean. And work.

Barely able to drag my ass to the desk to work on gigs.

I have two going on at the moment. An seo gig and a design gig.

This migraine is kicking my ass.

Three or four days now I’ve had it.

Meditation… it just can’t help when there’s a little man with a jackhammer in your head.

One or two days I sent out the class email late.
Shit…hold on, gotta go send today’s email out.

See?

Ok, class emails sent.

This is also the last week of the Halloween Special where the Google Luv Course is $40 after the discount.

Did I do any of the promoting I had planned to?

Of course not. So my class? Not as full as I’d like it to be this week.

I have two new services to launch too.

Do any work on them? No.

And all of this?

It stresses the crap out of me.

Remember, I’m an entrepreneur. If I don’t promote myself, I don’t get work, I don’t get paid.

My affiliate links in review posts cover the verizon fios and the electricity bill, yes, but what about Natasha needing a new coat and Sabrina needing new sneakers and the 3 birthdays coming up, Natasha, Vanessa and then hubby? What about when hubby is out sick and loses a day or two of pay? He doesn’t get sick days, he’s an entrepreneur himself.

Grrrr.

I feel like I’ve hardly seen the teens, though I helped Vanessa until midnight on thursday with her homework which seemed more like freakin gibberish to me so i had to go online and learn about dams and how they’re constructed and help her come up with a pitch on saving Pink Dolphins in Brazil that had to do with making fish passes.

Sometimes I gotta ask, what the hell is wrong with these teachers? Asking from a kid, a complete project poposal that people have whole staffs to build, and requiring it be submitted the next day?

Anyway I was super stressed.

I was busy caring for two that were sick and it caused me to kinda ignore the other two.

Bad mother thoughts in my head.

And then 3 oclock yesterday morning Kate, my client-turned-awesome-freakin-friend who has pretty much adopted me, sent me a FB message and I vented.

I’ve got some many damn skills, I don’t know where to focus them, here on this blog or the business blog?

I need to work in a way that I find spiritual happiness and financial stability. When I work with mainly small businesses, I tend to lose that spiritual happiness.

When I work with mom bloggers, it feeds my soul because I’m helping to put them on the path to reach their goals, but I haven’t promoted the blog enough yet for it to be a stable income.

Do I give up the small biz gigs completely and focus more here?  I’ve sent out pitches everyday to one small biz this last 3 weeks and nothing. I think my brand of crazy just doesn’t work for them. If you visit http://vanitacyril.com you’ll see I don’t put on a very professional air. Instead, I be me.

I lay all this at Kate’s door.

Kate is a PI.

No, not private investigator.

She’s a psychic intuitive.

And I won’t lie, Kate has been keeping me sane these past few months.

She is literally my secret weapon/sanity pill.

Kate has created bio-charts for me and tarot readings to help me when I feel stuck.

Kate has kept me from feeling like I’m a bad mother. Because on my low days, I do feel like a failure in every aspect. Though i’m getting stuff done, I feel like I’m on auto pilot. Though I’m feeding the kids and helping with homework and making doctor appoints and going to school, I still feel like I’m not doing enough. Kate’s biocharts help me understand why. The first one she did for me, frankly, I didn’t pay much attention to until afterwards. Then I saw how much it could have prepared me for. Now I pay attention to them and ask her for clarification and I know what to expect.

So at 3am Kate starts a reading for me. This complicated 24 card deal.

The outcome?

In summary: I’m about to embark on good things and success is right here, like a breath away. Stop stressing. Everything I’ve done to help others, every time I’ve go above and beyond, all that good Karma is coming back. As for small clients? Keep being me. Stand by who I am. The right one is coming. Harmony is right before me, I just have to decide I want it.

I was doubtful about two paths before me, but Kate gave me the complete low down and I made a choice, because the woman has not been wrong at all. Once I made that choice…

That afternoon?

I reviewed the clients I had pitched over the past few weeks and reached out to one.

I only ever do one follow up. I don’t like to badger people. If I don’t get a response from a potential client on the follow up, I let it go.

I decided to reach out to one of those clients again. A 2nd follow up.

And then? She said she was thinking about me yesterday. She really likes how outspoken I am in my blog posts on vanitacyril.com. She liked my take on things and she’d be delighted to work with me. She totally understood my schedule. I signed her on as a new small business client and received my first payment yesterday afternoon.

Small business clients are not small potatoes.

I start her project in a week or two.

This project ties in perfectly with my schedule where I can still focus here and continue to focus on my family.

Kate is always spot on.

I’m no newbie when it comes to working with psychics.

I’ve had a few run through my life. You can read about it here Psychic Reading Anyone? and here There is Hope.

So yes, I bloody confess, I have a spiritual guide. She’s a PI. A psychic intuitive.

She bloody rocks!

She keeps me sane when I doubt myself.

As my guide but also as my friend.

I don’t go to Kate to “tell me the future” I go to her for my sanity and guidance.

And so? Tomorrow’s post? I’m giving away a reading with Kate. I wanted to pay for it, but she won’t let me. She also offered a 30% discount to my readers. So if you’re struggling with internal issues, Kate can offer you guidance. You can visit here to get it on the cheap.

I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea.

And that’s ok. But if it’s yours, be sure to stop by tomorrow for the giveaway. Signup for the RSS feed so you know when it’s published, cause God knows I’m not on a schedule.