Shed Negativity From Your Life (And Your Blog)

Yesterday’s post Before You Hire That Blog Designer… received lots of great feedback.

There were also several negative comments from other designers. I didn’t “approve” them.

I looked at these comments that were each in a defensive tone along with being insulting to bloggers and I thought “i could shut her up and I could shut her up and I could make her look like a complete fool“…

What can I tell you, these comments pissed me off.

I dislike when people try to be “all technical” to “prove” that they’re right when all they’re really doing is complicating a simple situation and creating negative feelings for others.

So I looked at these comments, that could have been interesting for the post – you know what they say, a little bit of controversy never hurts – and I deleted them.


I didn’t want the negativity on my blog.

I didn’t want my blog to cause my readers negative feelings.

I knew there was a possibility other blog designers would have something to say if they came across my post, but I expected us to all be adults, ya know? Disagree with something I’ve said, share your experience, your feelings on the matter, whatever…it’s all good.

So I spammed the comments.

And then I thought about full disclosure…and I was perplexed.

So I emailed a fellow blogger who is also a student-turned-client-turned-really-good-brighten-my-day-kind-of-friend and I sent her one of the nicer comments and I said, I spammed this comment.

Her response:

[box type="bio"] “Very smart Vanita – you know what happens when we do that, we get caught up in their state of consciousness/of mind and since it’s not a very happy or uplifting one, why go there, it only attracts more unhappy stuff into our life.  And credit to you sweet girl for not going there…it’s really easy to do and much harder to stay in your own happy state. Give yourself a star.” [/box]

Did I want to attract that kind of unhappiness to my blog, my readers or my life? Oh gawd no.

Speaking of Negativity in My Life…

You may have noticed I’ve been scarce. On social media, on the blog…the truth is, I’ve been working and reading.

This hit I took when I changed the permalinks and then the hit I took due to the video storage guys (which finally resolved but I still had to add all the training videos back manually) had truly brought me down.

It was a major set back for me time-wise and money-wise. I was working longer hours to fix the training site and I’ve lost 3k in income from my pages dropping in the search engine results. (Not to mention my traffic has dropped significantly and my alexa is at it’s highest in over a year). The Strategic Mama is just sitting there waiting for me to write a damn post.

It was a rough last few months of the year. I was beginning to feel like I’d taken 5 steps back and the staircase could only lead downward.

So I worked. I kept to myself mostly and worked. And found time to read. I had to. Going to bed with nothing but php, fb and ranking reports on the brain isn’t good for anyone. So I read a lot and I wanted to share with you some of the new blogs I’ve added to my reading list, because really, these blogs have opened me up to a whole new way of thinking…the same thinking that caused me to spam those comments.

Below you’ll find 3 Personal Development Bloggers that I’ve truly enjoyed reading. They bring a certain light to my day, they create ah-ha moments. If you know me personally, you know I like reading fellow mom blogs who I can relate to and learn from and blogging + social media bloggers who feed my “online brain”. Adding personal development blogs has created a good mix for me that keeps me balanced. Most of all it’s bringing positivity into my life, shaping the way i think about and react to certain situations whether it be snarky bloggers online or sometimes overwhelming responsibilities offline.

Check them out and then come back and thank me:

vidya Shed Negativity From Your Life (And Your Blog)

I’ve been reading Vidya for a while now. All by herself she keeps me balanced. If there were no internet, I’d need to move to India and live closer to her. She easily fills my need for a mix of mommy/blogging/personal dev nourishment. She’s like a banana/strawberry/mango smoothie.

Vidya brings smiles with her stories of family, life and her encouragements to be happy. Her pictures are breathtaking and her stories help to remind you what’s important in life. I love this woman. She is a true friend and has helped me get through many frustrations these past few months.

elle Shed Negativity From Your Life (And Your Blog)Elle has encouraged me to open myself up to possibilities and not be afraid to dream big.

Reflecting a Life has those “ah-ha moment” posts. The ones that show you that anything is possible. In everything she writes, in every interaction I have with her, Elle always stays true to this purpose listed on her About Me page.

“To remind everyone that they’re limitless beings, and to encourage them to choose love over fear. To remind them that they can create a life of their choosing, that they can experience their desires, that they can reclaim their power.”

zenmama Shed Negativity From Your Life (And Your Blog)


Got Kids? Got TEENS? Got a lot of little things that make you sweat?
I’ve been secretly reading Betsy’s blog for a while now. Secretly because I always read from the old iphone when sipping coffee and commenting on that thing stinks. The wisdom I’ve found at The Zen Mama Blog has helped me to let go of the little things, especially when it comes to my kids. What they’re wearing, what they’re learning, if they’re learning too slow, if they’re too social, not social enough, if my day’s schedule is whacked out, if the little ones’ routines are interrupted, etc etc.

Feeling overwhelmed and cranky Mom? Go check out The Zen Mama Blog.

Forget Negativity

Life gets busy, overwhelming and sometimes hard.
Holding on to negative thoughts will get you know where darling.
Surrounding yourself with negative people can hurt your growth.
Doubting yourself will hold you back.
Letting go of negative thoughts and doubts may seem impossible.
It’s not. Believe me, it’s not.

Read the sound advice from these bloggers and change your thinking so you can change your life.

p.s. I’m taking a big leap and have accepted an opportunity by to present for a seo for mom bloggers webinar.

check it out and register! the event is free for members and membership is free. Visit

P.S. I know this shouldn’t bother me, but I am human, and this does bother me. Let me clarify, I spammed those comments because they were insulting to my audience. They were not a 2nd Point Of View. They were insults about my fellow bloggers needing to stick to blogging and that they should not be allowed cPanel access.

This tweet from this total stranger and her protected account bothers me.

Screen Shot 2013 01 23 at 3.58.25 PM Shed Negativity From Your Life (And Your Blog)

People really take freedom of speech too far. It’s sad that the best she that she can be would be someone who passes judgement on another and feels feel being virtual gives her the right to insult others online.

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Vanita Cyril

Vanita Cyril

Entrepreneur | WAH Mom | Supporter of Mom Entrepreneurs Everywhere

I'm one wicked SEO demystifying, WordPress theme designing WAH Mom who tweets, pins, blogs and conquers the world while simultaneously searching for blankies, proof reading English assignments and burning dinner.

Yes, I do burn dinner daily.



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