Shed Negativity From Your Life (And Your Blog)
Yesterday’s post Before You Hire That Blog Designer… received lots of great feedback.
There were also several negative comments from other designers. I didn’t “approve” them.
I looked at these comments that were each in a defensive tone along with being insulting to bloggers and I thought “i could shut her up and I could shut her up and I could make her look like a complete fool“…
What can I tell you, these comments pissed me off.
I dislike when people try to be “all technical” to “prove” that they’re right when all they’re really doing is complicating a simple situation and creating negative feelings for others.
So I looked at these comments, that could have been interesting for the post – you know what they say, a little bit of controversy never hurts – and I deleted them.
Why?
I didn’t want the negativity on my blog.
I didn’t want my blog to cause my readers negative feelings.
I knew there was a possibility other blog designers would have something to say if they came across my post, but I expected us to all be adults, ya know? Disagree with something I’ve said, share your experience, your feelings on the matter, whatever…it’s all good.
So I spammed the comments.
And then I thought about full disclosure…and I was perplexed.
So I emailed a fellow blogger who is also a student-turned-client-turned-really-good-brighten-my-day-kind-of-friend and I sent her one of the nicer comments and I said, I spammed this comment.
Her response:
Did I want to attract that kind of unhappiness to my blog, my readers or my life? Oh gawd no.
Speaking of Negativity in My Life…
You may have noticed I’ve been scarce. On social media, on the blog…the truth is, I’ve been working and reading.
This hit I took when I changed the permalinks and then the hit I took due to the video storage guys (which finally resolved but I still had to add all the training videos back manually) had truly brought me down.
It was a major set back for me time-wise and money-wise. I was working longer hours to fix the training site and I’ve lost 3k in income from my pages dropping in the search engine results. (Not to mention my traffic has dropped significantly and my alexa is at it’s highest in over a year). The Strategic Mama is just sitting there waiting for me to write a damn post.
It was a rough last few months of the year. I was beginning to feel like I’d taken 5 steps back and the staircase could only lead downward.
So I worked. I kept to myself mostly and worked. And found time to read. I had to. Going to bed with nothing but php, fb and ranking reports on the brain isn’t good for anyone. So I read a lot and I wanted to share with you some of the new blogs I’ve added to my reading list, because really, these blogs have opened me up to a whole new way of thinking…the same thinking that caused me to spam those comments.
Below you’ll find 3 Personal Development Bloggers that I’ve truly enjoyed reading. They bring a certain light to my day, they create ah-ha moments. If you know me personally, you know I like reading fellow mom blogs who I can relate to and learn from and blogging + social media bloggers who feed my “online brain”. Adding personal development blogs has created a good mix for me that keeps me balanced. Most of all it’s bringing positivity into my life, shaping the way i think about and react to certain situations whether it be snarky bloggers online or sometimes overwhelming responsibilities offline.
Check them out and then come back and thank me:
I’ve been reading Vidya for a while now. All by herself she keeps me balanced. If there were no internet, I’d need to move to India and live closer to her. She easily fills my need for a mix of mommy/blogging/personal dev nourishment. She’s like a banana/strawberry/mango smoothie.
Vidya brings smiles with her stories of family, life and her encouragements to be happy. Her pictures are breathtaking and her stories help to remind you what’s important in life. I love this woman. She is a true friend and has helped me get through many frustrations these past few months.
Elle has encouraged me to open myself up to possibilities and not be afraid to dream big.
Reflecting a Life has those “ah-ha moment” posts. The ones that show you that anything is possible. In everything she writes, in every interaction I have with her, Elle always stays true to this purpose listed on her About Me page.
“To remind everyone that they’re limitless beings, and to encourage them to choose love over fear. To remind them that they can create a life of their choosing, that they can experience their desires, that they can reclaim their power.”
Got Kids? Got TEENS? Got a lot of little things that make you sweat?
I’ve been secretly reading Betsy’s blog for a while now. Secretly because I always read from the old iphone when sipping coffee and commenting on that thing stinks. The wisdom I’ve found at The Zen Mama Blog has helped me to let go of the little things, especially when it comes to my kids. What they’re wearing, what they’re learning, if they’re learning too slow, if they’re too social, not social enough, if my day’s schedule is whacked out, if the little ones’ routines are interrupted, etc etc.
Feeling overwhelmed and cranky Mom? Go check out The Zen Mama Blog.
Forget Negativity
Life gets busy, overwhelming and sometimes hard.
Holding on to negative thoughts will get you know where darling.
Surrounding yourself with negative people can hurt your growth.
Doubting yourself will hold you back.
Letting go of negative thoughts and doubts may seem impossible.
It’s not. Believe me, it’s not.
Read the sound advice from these bloggers and change your thinking so you can change your life.
p.s. I’m taking a big leap and have accepted an opportunity by Sverve.com to present for a seo for mom bloggers webinar.
check it out and register! the event is free for members and membership is free. Visit sverve.com.
P.S. I know this shouldn’t bother me, but I am human, and this does bother me. Let me clarify, I spammed those comments because they were insulting to my audience. They were not a 2nd Point Of View. They were insults about my fellow bloggers needing to stick to blogging and that they should not be allowed cPanel access.
This tweet from this total stranger and her protected account bothers me.
People really take freedom of speech too far. It’s sad that the best she that she can be would be someone who passes judgement on another and feels feel being virtual gives her the right to insult others online.
Big bear hugs to you, Vanita. I am proud of you. More than anything, I love that we raise each other up and share so much laughter. Love really makes the world go ’round, you know. We only have one life to live, and I reckon it is worth it to be positive and spread sweetness and light
Love Elle and Betsy. You’re in good company!
I am touched you mentioned me among these lovely ladies. Hugs!
Vidya Sury recently posted..The Joy Of Compassionate Parenting
big hugs to you sis! I’m blessed to have you in my corner. love u terribly!
Vanita Cyril recently posted..Before You Hire That Blog Designer…
I applaud you for making a stand for YOUR space here.
Those who left their negativity, that’s a reflection on them, not you.
Thanks for sharing those bloggers, if you say they’re good and inspiring, then it’s time for me to go check them out properly.
Alison recently posted..The (Almost) Unbearable Lightness Of Not Being Needed
ahhh you will love them girl. rumor has it i’m an immature abusive Pollyanna for spamming those comments which insulted my fellow bloggers.
Vanita Cyril recently posted..Before You Hire That Blog Designer…
Vanita, I loved this post. So open and endearing and honest (love that about you). You are one of the shining lights in the world kiddo…stay true to you and only wonderful things can come. There truly is always a light at the end of any tunnel we find ourself in. Like Vidya I do believe we are at choice in our life, love or fear. And anything that isn’t love must be fear.
It warms the cockles of my little heart that you included me with Vidya and Betsy. Hugs to you.
Love Elle
xoxo
Elle recently posted..Are You Ready To Fear Less And Live More?
i believe you sis and im imagining this being a bright year.
Vanita Cyril recently posted..Before You Hire That Blog Designer…
You’re a true ‘positive badass’ Vanita, props to you and all the friends mentioned in this post
Keep ryzin’!
Jason “J-Ryze” Fonceca recently posted..My Own F*** Ups Are Weeeeeeeird
thank you kind sir. i am humbled to have a positive badass such as yourself think so positively of me.
Vanita Cyril recently posted..Before You Hire That Blog Designer…
Your space, your rules. I stand by that in my space. And I wish peace and positivity on you always
IASoupMama recently posted..Life’s a…
awww thank you girlfriend! I wish the same for you! Happy New Year!
Vanita Cyril recently posted..Before You Hire That Blog Designer…
Some people just have a negative attitude. They are having a hard time dealing with people that are ‘always’ positive.
They believe those people are fake. Jealousy? Maybe. A bad approach in life? Hell yes.
Whining will get you nowhere. Negativity tends to build a wall around people and they will eventually exclude themselves from others.
For us positive thinkers: “It’s perfectly OK to be negative… sometimes…”.
JanBierens recently posted..How YOU can Engage With MY Community
this comment kills me Jan. Why? Because she is a personal development blogger. supposedly a “positive thinker” i guess actions speak louder than a whole blog of words.
Vanita Cyril recently posted..Before You Hire That Blog Designer…
Ok, now I am re-reading ALL my blog posts AND checking if I need my attitude / approach to life changed…
Ahhh great minds.
JanBierens recently posted..How YOU can Engage With MY Community
LOL I highly doubt it friend. you are awesome sauce always!
Vanita Cyril recently posted..Before You Hire That Blog Designer…
Hi Van,
Love to see Vidya mentioned in your post and she’s an inspirational character indeed dear
A wonderful friend to have.
That’s what you hear and see, ha?
What about the negative feedback you don’t see or hear at all? Who cares Van…
It doesn’t matter how far they would go to let you down and keep you away from goals you believe in. Just let ‘em take the freedom of speech and you take the freedom of ignoring ‘em.
Don’t deal with it and it’s just wasting your time not theirs, ’cause they are wasting their time all the time. You are strong enough.
There are people who always like to comes up with negativity and criticisms and when we look into their lives, they were just used to do babbling and boasting around. Count on what you do for others and they will always grateful for you.
Don’t let negativity comes in and play. Instead you take control of it.
Cheers…
Mayura recently posted..How to Use Multiple Google Accounts at Once
Mayura I just don’t get why people feel the internet gives them freedom to forget their manners.
Vanita Cyril recently posted..Shed Negativity From Your Life (And Your Blog)
No Van, it’s revealing true identity
Manners?! They are just pretending they have manners and hearts are just dirty and mind is lack of control.
Mayura recently posted..How to Use Multiple Google Accounts at Once
i hear you bud and i agree.
actions speak louder than a whole blog of words, no?
Vanita Cyril recently posted..Shed Negativity From Your Life (And Your Blog)
I think you handled it beautifully! So sorry that people are mean! So unnecessary!
PragmaticMom recently posted..Book Club for Boys: Percy Jackson and The Lightening Thief
ahh thank u girlfriend. i always try to be encouraging and supportive so it really irks me when others are so negative and insulting
Vanita Cyril recently posted..Shed Negativity From Your Life (And Your Blog)
So glad you are on the upswing Vanita. I am with you 100 percent. It is your blog you set the tone (period). You also provide so much value to us mom bloggers, thanks and thanks for the links, Original Blogs Are Happy Blogs is in my cue to read now : )
Vanita Cyril recently posted..Shed Negativity From Your Life (And Your Blog)
Vanita,
It’s like the saying, “The bigger they are, the harder they fall,” and I see it as a good problem. While those comments were negative, imagine the impact your post had on them for them to take the time to write one. All in all, still a good problem to have.
Good for you in spamming them and deciding to keep the negativity out. It’s your blog. Don’t let nobody rain on your parade if you can help it!
Nami recently posted..DJ For A Day
thanks for the support girlfriend! hey come by and visit your fellow google luv course students in the G+ community. i’d love everyone to know check out your namzola goodness
Vanita Cyril recently posted..Shed Negativity From Your Life (And Your Blog)
Girl, this is YOUR home on the internet. You make your own house rules here. Who cares what other says or thinks. You pick and choose what kind of comments are allowed on YOUR place here.
I’ve been missing you and hope things are well with you!
i am good sis! it just bothers me how people think since they’re not in front of your face they can say what they want.
Vanita Cyril recently posted..Shed Negativity From Your Life (And Your Blog)
Good call! Your blog, your rules, and negativity is just draining. Saps one’s strength. I thank you for all the useful information you share. I had only one woman who would write such nasty things on my blog, I blocked her. Life is good.
Dear Vanita,
Thank you so much for including me with Vidya and Elle in your wonderful blog. I couldn’t agree with you more about keeping life positive. I think you did the right thing when you deleted those negative responses. I’ve done the same thing on my Facebook page. That’s not the reason I started my page and blog. Disagreement is ok but rudeness is NOT!!
I’m so glad that you are part of our positive community over at Zen Mama!
xoxo
Betsy
PS I must apologize for my late response. I’ve had teacher conferences all week. I’ve been over at your website several times to leave this email and here you go!!
Betsy/Zen Mama recently posted..The Future Is Now… 9 Ways To Live In the Moment
Betsy!
i wanted others to share in your awesomeness.
Girl no apology necessary. The post wasn’t for you anyway
Vanita Cyril recently posted..Shed Negativity From Your Life (And Your Blog)
LOVE it as usual, keeping honest and true with yourself and your tribe. I stand behind this 100% and do it on my blog as well. I don’t have the time or space in my life for negativity, if only we could spam people in real life!
Laura recently posted..The New Time Out – Task Thursday
i’m sitting here trying to thing of someone i’d like to spam in real life…and then i realized, i’ve done that a lot. hahaha. seriously. i can’t deal with people who are always negative or try to drag me down, so i cut them off. cruel, i know.
Vanita Cyril recently posted..My Heart Hurts For You
All I can say is good for you V! There are so many people out there that live in a negative world and you know what they say about thoughts; You receive back what you put out, so who needs more negative thoughts and vibes in an already busy and hectic life?
I also KNOW you and I know you know the difference between constructive criticism and offensive material. I completely respect you spamming those comments not only for yourself and your blog, but for your readers.
It shows you really care about us!
I really hope you’re taking time for yourself and not getting completely overwhelmed!
Kayla! it’s good to see you girlfriend.
i don’t know why, but i just can not understand why people need to be so negative toward each other. why can’t everyone encourage each other? push one another to be better? instead of stepping on people and pulling them down. blah. i may never get it.
Vanita Cyril recently posted..My Heart Hurts For You
I am with you negativity is unnecessary.
Jack recently posted..Sometimes The Best Posts Ramble
if only i had a buddy who knew how to loosen the screws on swivel chairs. he’s take care of that negative chic for me.
Vanita Cyril recently posted..My Heart Hurts For You
Love this, Vanita. Sure, people are entitled to their opinion…and YOU are entitled to having your home on the web being the positive place that you want it to be. Good on you…and thank you for sharing it with us @ Sverve.
Sue – The Spin Cycle recently posted..Bling it Up: A CafePress Giveaway