How Clogged Ears and Boogers Can Change Your Life
“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”
-Marilyn Monroe
It was discharge day! Natasha was 2 days old and I was dying to leave NYU MC to get home and introduce her to Damian, the only sibling who hadn’t met her yet.
The one that was sure to lead my precious girl into mischief since he’s only a year older.
Her pediatrician arrives and while I’m practically salivating at the tricolor discharge papers the woman was holding, I realize there’s no damn smile on her face.
I look over at Tash, half dressed to leave and look at the doc and sat on the bed and cried while she told be that Natasha hadn’t heard the lullabies or mommy calling her precious and sweet for the past two days.
The pediatrician educates me on the hearing test and tells me Natasha failed it. Follows up with “it could just be fluid” and could clear up in a few days.
So I went home joyful that my little girl was perfectly fine, but couldn’t hear me, but may be able to in a few days and a phone number to schedule a follow up hearing test.
:-/
Two weeks pass. She still couldn’t hear me. She couldn’t hear daddy or her older sisters. She couldn’t hear Damian pretend to be a train and say chugga-chugga for hours on end. She slept through everything. Never hearing a thing. The earliest available appointment was still 2 weeks away.
I was on the 2nd week of my 4 week paid maternity leave and I was dreading having to leave my baby and go back to work. I was scheduled to return 2 days after the follow up. At that time in my life, I HATED my job of 7 years. HATED IT.
To be honest, I really hated having to leave another baby while they were babies and return to work while someone else loved and cared for them – even if it was dad who’d be doing the caring.
And the hearing issue just made it all worse. It was so bad and I was in such an emotional state, I cried everyday thinking she would never hear my voice, she would never hear a lullaby. I can’t tell you how I cried.
The following week, Natasha is sleeping in my lap and hubby sneezes from two rooms away and the girl jumps in her sleep. I thought it was coincidence. I called for him and she jumps again, then wakes up crying. I put her on my shoulder and rub her back and this time when I sing, she calms down and goes back to sleep.
The following week, her test results are perfect. I still had issues leaving her. That’s when I made up my mind to really start networking and putting my moonlighting services out there. I returned to work with this heavy heart missing her every day but I had plans. Those few agencies that had been giving me a gig here and there, I hit them hard.
By the time Natasha was 7 months old, I had a steady stream of After Bedtime Work. It was then that I decided to start this blog. Between day work, night work and parenting, I was pretty shut off from the rest of the world. I needed to be able to connect.
Fast forward to 8 months later.
I had been laid off from my salaried job for a few months by then. I’d been slacking off on generating leads and my After Bedtime gigs were few and far apart because all my time became dedicated to job hunting and cover letter writing. I interviewed for 29 jobs my first 3 months out of work and NOTHING. Zilch. To this day, I’ve interviewed for 96 jobs. I’m either over qualified or in need of a Bachelors Degree.
“When you don’t make the changes you need to make, the universe will force those changes on you”
-The Late Gordan Banta (something he said to me in 2005)
So I’m kinda spending the days with my kids while I hunt for jobs on the itouch via flexjobs, linkedin and indeed and then one day, Damian speeds pass me, chasing his older sister with a big booger on his finger.
Really.
It was gross.
It was also the first time I’ve ever seen any kid do that (though i’ve heard school yard stories).
And I realized at that moment, that I didn’t want to leave them to go to work and be gone 9 hours a day. I didn’t want to miss moments like these.
THAT brought it home for me. That’s when I started offering my services via this blog. That’s when I initially launched the business site.
That’s when I kicked it into high gear, determined to not miss another moment with my kids again.
The tragedy of a lullaby not being heard.
The hilarious drama of a booger on the run.
These were defining moments in my life.
What defining moments changed your life? Hardened your resolve?
p.s. two days left for the giveaway!
What a wonderful way you have of sharing a challenging time and how you handled it.
Capability recently posted..Because I am all about the food…
ha! girl i was a bag of emotional blubbering! lol. but these did strengthen my resolve to get my butt in gear.
Loved this post! I loved it because I can identify with this as well. I was laid off while on maternity leave with both of my kids and also hated to leave them. I still went back to work because I had to. I was let go from my last job in November and have not looked back . I love being home with my kids and found it is the hardest job I’ve ever had. Thank you for this post. I love how a bogger brought you back. Susan Sarandon brought me back…one day I’ll tell that story.
Alma recently posted..Market color
Alma! How’s it going girl! I can’t wait to hear your story. absolutely love you recent post. makes me miss brooklyn and even the B38 bus. lol
While a different way of getting there, I had a similar experience in arriving to my decision to be a work-at-home Mom. It is a lot harder because there is more juggling involved but it is so rewarding.
Charlene ( recently posted..Baby Style at BlogHer
definitely girl. some think we’re working from home and have it easier but i’ve done both and working from home is so much harder for me. i’m just glad i’m no longer commuting into the city. not a big fan of nyc mta
What a great story! Nice to see how others have found a way to make work & family mix for them. And oooh cutie photos.
Amy recently posted..It’s not you, Twitter, it’s me. Ok, it’s you.
Thanks Amy! I’m thinking an infographic of my daily schedule is called for! lol
This story warmed my heart. I sometimes think about how our lives would be if I worked a job out of the home, but then, I never develop these thoughts, these ideas, because for me, I am so in love with these moments with my girls, all of them, the good and the bad. I’m not against working, but I just would hate to leave my girls all day for a job outside of the home. I think it’s so inspirational that you’re living out your dreams, earning an income, and still able to see your kids everyday. That’s amazing.
Jessica recently posted..How to Be Present With Your Children at Indoor Play Spaces
Thanks Jessica. I can tell you it’s not easy. It wasn’t easy when the teens were babies either. but by the time they went to school, i was fine during those hours. as soon as 3pm hit, i wanted to be home with them and would count the seconds. leaving damian to go to work was extremely difficult and leaving natasha was even harder. i don’t plan on doing it again. ever. it’s difficult getting up at 4am to work and not going to bed until 10pm/midnight, but that’s because i have multiple streams of revenue, and it’s still worth it because i’m there for all of them
So touching Vanita. What a amazing moment that must have been when your daughter was startled.
I did not go back after my second because it killed me to bring my daughter to daycare everyday for a year and a half. Part time work at home is hard but it is really the best solution for me.
Ann recently posted..I Need a Change
Ann, my heart was beating so hard and fast i’m suprised the vibration didn’t wake her.
you’re right, it is hard, but it’s bloody rewarding!
It’s meant to be. So glad this gig worked out for you. Here’s to boogers!
Alison recently posted..Toys Bore Me And I Watch Blue’s Clues
i feel the same way too girl! on all counts. lol