How Clogged Ears and Boogers Can Change Your Life
“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”
The one that was sure to lead my precious girl into mischief since he’s only a year older.
Her pediatrician arrives and while I’m practically salivating at the tricolor discharge papers the woman was holding, I realize there’s no damn smile on her face.
I look over at Tash, half dressed to leave and look at the doc and sat on the bed and cried while she told be that Natasha hadn’t heard the lullabies or mommy calling her precious and sweet for the past two days.
The pediatrician educates me on the hearing test and tells me Natasha failed it. Follows up with “it could just be fluid” and could clear up in a few days.
So I went home joyful that my little girl was perfectly fine, but couldn’t hear me, but may be able to in a few days and a phone number to schedule a follow up hearing test.
Two weeks pass. She still couldn’t hear me. She couldn’t hear daddy or her older sisters. She couldn’t hear Damian pretend to be a train and say chugga-chugga for hours on end. She slept through everything. Never hearing a thing. The earliest available appointment was still 2 weeks away.
I was on the 2nd week of my 4 week paid maternity leave and I was dreading having to leave my baby and go back to work. I was scheduled to return 2 days after the follow up. At that time in my life, I HATED my job of 7 years. HATED IT.
To be honest, I really hated having to leave another baby while they were babies and return to work while someone else loved and cared for them – even if it was dad who’d be doing the caring.
And the hearing issue just made it all worse. It was so bad and I was in such an emotional state, I cried everyday thinking she would never hear my voice, she would never hear a lullaby. I can’t tell you how I cried.
The following week, Natasha is sleeping in my lap and hubby sneezes from two rooms away and the girl jumps in her sleep. I thought it was coincidence. I called for him and she jumps again, then wakes up crying. I put her on my shoulder and rub her back and this time when I sing, she calms down and goes back to sleep.
The following week, her test results are perfect. I still had issues leaving her. That’s when I made up my mind to really start networking and putting my moonlighting services out there. I returned to work with this heavy heart missing her every day but I had plans. Those few agencies that had been giving me a gig here and there, I hit them hard.
By the time Natasha was 7 months old, I had a steady stream of After Bedtime Work. It was then that I decided to start this blog. Between day work, night work and parenting, I was pretty shut off from the rest of the world. I needed to be able to connect.
Fast forward to 8 months later.
I had been laid off from my salaried job for a few months by then. I’d been slacking off on generating leads and my After Bedtime gigs were few and far apart because all my time became dedicated to job hunting and cover letter writing. I interviewed for 29 jobs my first 3 months out of work and NOTHING. Zilch. To this day, I’ve interviewed for 96 jobs. I’m either over qualified or in need of a Bachelors Degree.
“When you don’t make the changes you need to make, the universe will force those changes on you”
-The Late Gordan Banta (something he said to me in 2005)
So I’m kinda spending the days with my kids while I hunt for jobs on the itouch via flexjobs, linkedin and indeed and then one day, Damian speeds pass me, chasing his older sister with a big booger on his finger.
It was gross.
It was also the first time I’ve ever seen any kid do that (though i’ve heard school yard stories).
And I realized at that moment, that I didn’t want to leave them to go to work and be gone 9 hours a day. I didn’t want to miss moments like these.
THAT brought it home for me. That’s when I started offering my services via this blog. That’s when I initially launched the business site.
That’s when I kicked it into high gear, determined to not miss another moment with my kids again.
The tragedy of a lullaby not being heard.
The hilarious drama of a booger on the run.
These were defining moments in my life.
What defining moments changed your life? Hardened your resolve?
p.s. two days left for the giveaway!