Why These People Are Not My Bloggy Friends
For most of my life I lived in Brooklyn. More specifically on the border of Brooklyn and Queens, in a neighborhood named Ridgewood. Five years ago, I left Brooklyn to live in the Bronx. Present hubby lived and worked here since he moved to NYC. I was working in Manhattan. I could commute from anywhere. His commute from Brooklyn to the Bronx was almost 2 hours per trip and so he stayed at his old place while I procrastinated about moving. The Bronx actually has some pretty good schools, the further North you go on the east side. So after living all my life in Brooklyn (except for a few stints in other states), I moved to the Bronx. Worst. Mistake. Ever.
OK, not worst. But lord do I miss Brooklyn. Or more specifically, I miss my old neighborhood, my old apartment, my former landlady and most of all, my neighbors.
I had the BEST. NEIGHBORS. EVER.
Need help pulling the shopping cart of groceries up to the third floor? As soon as the thump-thump-thump of me dragging that thing up the stairs started, a neighbor came flying to the rescue.
Summer afternoons were spent in the front courtyard, barbequing, kids playing together, parents shooting the shit.
Fourth of July, we’d all drag our lawn chairs up to the roof and watch the fireworks. We had a great view from lower Manhattan to the empire state building.
So many hot summer nights, hanging on the fire escape drinking coronas.
Christmas, cans of caramel popcorn, bottles of wine and toys for the kids were passed around.
Every time something was baked in that building, enough was baked for the six families living there.
Going away for a few days? Need the plants watered, the pets fed, you package signed for?
Heck, one of the neighbors was my sitter. Talk about convenient.
When something criminal happened in the neighborhood, we’d have a building meeting in the hall, on the stairs, and talk about how we can all stay alert and look out for each other. Since I was a single mother, my neighbor across the hall gave me a bat to keep.
When I did move to the Bronx, it was in a rush. My youngest had spotted someone trying to break into our home. The police took her outside to look at people in case the robbers were still around to identify. But to this mother, what they did was parade her around for everyone, including the criminals who were responsible for a rash of robberies n the neighborhood, to see who it was that finally spot the robbers.
Then they gave my daughter no protection at all. Wouldn’t even take the time to let her look at mugshots – I had false hopes that they could catch the guy before he caught up with my daughter. I panicked and finally made the move that I was procrastinating on.
With only 30 days left of the school year, I just couldn’t pull my girls out of school. My oldest was graduating from Elementary school that year.
Can you imagine how difficult it was to take the girls from the Bronx every morning to school in Brooklyn and then jump back on the train to go to work in Manhattan, then take my lunch break at 2pm so I could pick them up from school and bring them back to work, then keep ‘em at work until 7pm and then we’d be home by 8:15 to start it all again the next day?
To make my life easier, after a week of this, one of my neighbors – then former neighbors – offered to pick the girls up and bring them, on the train, to the city for me, so i wouldn’t have to make the mad dash at lunch time.
Best neighbors ever. Amazing friends. They were like family for this loner. They were my protection and my support. They were more than neighbors. But just like when you graduate high school, those people who were such a big part of your life, go their separate ways. I miss those guys.
Bloggy Friends as Neighbors
As I’ve said many times, I owe a lot to the blogging community. Especially to the community of mom bloggers who welcomed me in.
Bloggy friends are very much like good neighbors.
Need a post tweeted? Low on comments? Need technical help? Need tips on anything from cooking to diapering to fixing your blog?
Bloggy Friends are there for you. The relationships we build as being a part of this community of bloggers are as strong as the relationships you build with your neighbors. Especially in the mom blogging community where moms are sharing pictures and stories, triumphs and heartbreaks, about their families.
We relate to each other, we cry and laugh with each other, we help to promote each others blogging dreams.
I’ve been blessed to know many that I can call my bloggy friend.
But there are some that I can’t.
These bloggers are not my bloggy friends
Am I about to push a boundary and call names? Point people out? Yes, yes I am. You bet your ass I am.
These bloggers… (in alphabetical order)
The inspirational, Angel from Fight4YourLifeOnline
The raw and honest writer, Christal from SO Many Ways
The very interesting and quite funny Jan from The Jan Bierens dot com
The hilarious Kate from ReturnToWorkMom
The wicked smart WAH single mom with a heart of gold Maureen from Tatterscoops
The super slick entrepreneur and coaching chic Val from Selby Media
The hurdle jumping inspirational survivor VSGMOM from vsgmom.com
The wicked kickass and funny Waning from WaningWoman
These people are NOT my bloggy friends. They are bloggers who who blog beautifully, hilariously and/or informatively to bring you great info. We visit each others blogs and share each others posts, but they are not my bloggy friends.
They are my support team, they are my second set of eyes, they are people who will check in on me when i’m sick or when they haven’t heard from me in a bit and some will send me love and cry with me when I’m in pain. They will kick ass for me and allow me to bug them for all kinds of shit and give me an honest opinion along with a better idea when my ideas suck. Some have gone along with my mad cap schemes and some have helped me better my writing. They push me when I think I’m not good enough and praise me to anyone who will listen.
I interviewed for a job this week. If it weren’t for these people, I don’t think I would have shined as well as i did.
These people are my friends.
I am blessed to have them and I dearly hope that you are blessed to have friends like them too.
Dedicated to My Friends
photocredit: © TAF – Fotolia.com
© ParisPhoto – Fotolia.com
© andrewgenn – Fotolia.com
Thank you Vanita for the wonderful shout out. I’m happy to call you my friend.
Waning Woman recently posted..The Positive Self Talk Challenge.
happy enough to hide in vgmmom’s trunk and come see me this summer? I hear she’s headed this way
Aww V thank you, Mama! You almost made me cry while drinking my first cup of coffee! LOL Thank you for the friendship we share that to me goes beyond the blogosphere. I would definitely want to be your neighbor. Your supports has been out of this world and I can’t thank you enough. One day, V…we will have that coffee somewhere in New York! Love ya!
Maureen recently posted..WAHM I am
i’m lucky to have you too maureen. i couldn’t ask for a better set of friends. and we’re getting coffee and going shoe shopping damnit!
Thanks V.
And yes! you’re so right. Thanks for mentioning me here. *kicks dirt*. Great story of something personal from your life. It’s always good to have friends around. A couple of years ago I had a discussion at work about having friends. I was telling them about the ‘on – line friends’ and my colleagues didn’t get it… How can you be a friend with someone you have never seen? There was this thing they missed completely in the equation there. There is no difference in on-line and ‘real’ friends. That’s the way I see it anyways.
JanB recently posted..Embed a YouTube post in WordPress
Jan, some people tend to forget that there are REAL people with real personalities and feelings “on-line” we’re not automated responses. lol. i’ve gotten into the habit of referring to my bloggy friends as “Mr. X from my blogging community” and of course those who are closer are just my friends.
Shucks, girlfriend. The feeling is definitely mutual. Blog or no blog, I shudder at the thought of life without you.
lucky for you, i turn 25 every birthday, so i’ll be around a long ass time
awww what a beautiful tribute.
Adriana recently posted..Spring Awakening…
Adriana! Thanks for stopping by girl. These people, they are beautiful people. This post doesn’t do them justice.
You made my face leak.
You are loved and I’m grateful to have been given you as a friend. You’ve made my life better for it.
Chrissy recently posted..The Dancing Queen
ditto lady. sorry i made you cry. but you knew i considered you family. you shouldn’t have been surprised.
What a cool post Vanita!
I’m so very happy we found each other. I was sitting here trying to remember how we “met” and how long ago. Hilarious thing is, we meshed so quick I have absolutely no idea. Do you? lol
I’ve loved having you to bounce ideas with, especially since you specialize in different stuff than me. While I can’t remember how we hooked up, I’m super glad it happened
Val recently posted..How Savvy Mompreneurs Stay Motivated
i can’t bloody remember either. hahaha. damn it woman! now it’s going to keep bugging at me like a song stuck in my head. thanks a lot!
Vanita recently posted..Why These People Are Not My Bloggy Friends
Hi Vanita – came over from The JackB’s blog post
What a lovely blog you have here! I so enjoyed the post. I’ve felt that way often, as we moved five cities through school and then, as if that were a habit, I moved in my job a lot. Like you, I am grateful to my support group aka blogging friends 
I do hope to interact more with you. Have a great day!
Vidya Sury recently posted..You Can Sell
Vidya! girl I could have sworn we followed each other on Twitter. good to see you.
my youngest teen’s middle name is also vidya. thanks for stopping by and looking forward to getting to know you!
Vanita recently posted..Tuesday’s Tear Sheet
I agree. Blogging brings people together….people who don’t blog don’t get that. It doesn’t matter if we are behind a computer screen, we genuinly care for one another. That makes the best friends.
Kimberly recently posted..Secret Mommy-hood Confession Saturday
exactly! couldn’t have said it better. thanks girl
Vanita recently posted..Tuesday’s Tear Sheet
This is yet more proof that online friendships can be just as important/valuable as real world relationships.
Jack recently posted..Daddy Blog Like a Jedi Master
Jack, there’s real people online behind those keyboards, with real feeling and intentions (good or bad) so i never get why others just don’t get it. do i have to actually meet you physically for our personalities to click? no. does meeting you personally make you my friend? no.
Your sings to me. The blogger freindships that I have formed and continue to form have been a life saver when I have needed it the most. I have friends all over the world now. I have helped some with their blog when they were on vacation and they have returned th favor in kind. How lucky you are and myself as well to have these amazing people as our friends.
Susan Cooper recently posted..Apple Oat Crunch
yes we are very lucky Susan. Someone I hold very dear to my heart lives in Jakarta. I would never have met her if it weren’t for blogging and I would have missed out on her awesomeness. THanks so much for stopping by
I guess that is one good thing about blogging that other people couldn’t really understand. Though we may not see each other, the fact that you can give help and assistance whenever it is needed is one good factor of online friendship. Alrightie, take care!
Danica Litton recently posted..Spring Runway Looks Translated: The Strong Brow
Danica thanks for stopping by. online friendships are really no different from offline friendships. some people are closer friends than others. that’s all.
Vanita recently posted..Why Darren’s Blogging Method Doesn’t Work For Me
Beautifully said! There is something so heart-warming about knowing that someone’s got your back!
you know it girl!
Vanita recently posted..Why Darren’s Blogging Method Doesn’t Work For Me
I will check out the mommy blogs you mentioned. Always nice to find more great bloggers to follow.
PragmaticMom recently posted..Are Crabs Crabby? And Other Egregious Misconceptions
you will love these people. as a matter of fact, i saw that Waning has already checked you out and left a comment on one of your posts that i commented on. maybe you can help me lure her away from blah-blah-Blogger. try as hard as i do, i can’t get her and the amazing Kate off of that free platform.
Vanita recently posted..Why Darren’s Blogging Method Doesn’t Work For Me