Advice for the Freshman Blogger
Remember High School?
Remember the cliques?
Were you ever the new girl?
It was hard to find where I belonged.
I had absolutely no confidence, knew no one and pretty much spent freshman year trying to find my footing.
I made a few friends that stayed my friends for years afterward, but at 14, i couldn’t foresee that they would.
I was more concerned about fitting in.
But, I was never popular enough, rich enough, smart enough or mean enough to fit in a major clique.
Not very different from blogging.
Remember the jocks? They kicked ass and everyone loved them and wanted to be like them or at least hang with their crew.
Not very different from the blogging pros today.
Then there were the nerds. The ones everyone wanted to avoid but had to go to for help.
And of course you remember the mean girls right?
The ones that were pretty damn popular, who made themselves feel better by making you feel like crap?
A lot of those in the blogging world too.
When you’re a Newbie Mom Blogger it can definitely feel like high school all over again.
Two years ago when I started as a mom blogger, I had absolutely no confidence.
I tried to take direction from the mom bloggers I met in the SITS GIRLS Pro Blogger 30 day challenge.
I tried to follow the lead of mom bloggers with big BlogFrog communities.
I learned quickly that there are moms who will share how-tos to help and then there are moms who will mislead you to watch you get crushed.
Reminds me of the mean girls from my high school. On the first day of school, I spent fifth period wandering the halls because they “directed me to the bathroom”.
I learned there are mom bloggers who will crush you like a bug if you let them.
I tried out for the clubs my freshman year in high school, got rejected because the mean girls ran all the ones I was interested in.
The mom blogger community can be just as competitive.
Sad, but true.
It’s why I distanced myself for a while. It felt too much like high school.
It’s two years later, I don’t have a huge following but I do have several fellow bloggers who have been amazing in their support of me. They’re like the high school buddies I picked up freshman year. They stick with me through thick and thin. I’ve got to say, I value that more than a big audience.
These fellow bloggers accept me for who I am and encourage me to be so.
They encouraged me to be free.
Free to be me.
As a newbie, you may find it hard to free yourself – as hard as I did 2 years ago.
As a newbie, you may not be feeling confident in your blogging.
As a newbie, you may feel a need to fit into a mom blogger clique and try to mimic a few that you find successful.
This can get pretty frustrating.
Here’s my advice
- Say what you want to say, the way you want to say it.
- Design your blog the way that suits you.
- Write about topics you enjoy.
- Don’t let haters hold you back.
- Look for advice from those you you respect based on what they have to say, not their popularity.
Don’t be afraid to let your true self out.
You can’t please everybody all the time. Please yourself in your blogging and you’ll attract those who are like minded.
And there will be haters, but there are also wonderful people who will be happy to help you.
Don’t let the Haters hold you back
I wasn’t going to share this, I’ve moved past it because the experience brought about something I can be proud of.
You can read about how a mom blogger insulting me led me to create an eBook in 6.5 hours.
An eBook I’m proud of and am giving away in the sidebar.
Anyway, as I’ve said, I’ve moved past the incident (notice how calm I am? not one “bloody” or “rat’s ass”), but sadly, the blogger who insulted me had not. She emailed me yesterday morning and though I laughed at her email, I realized, it was the perfect example of how others will try to intimidate you into being something you’re not. How others will try to crush your will.
Now remember, I’ve been blogging two years now and have built a profitable business from my blog, and yet there’s someone out there who’ll still try to con me into thinking I’m nothing.
”Congratulations on your Ebook. I’m very happy you found another outlet to share your experience. It’s a shame that it won’t reach many hands as your following is quite small and I doubt they can make much of an impact for you. If you’d really like to help other moms, you will take my advice and change your writing style. Only then will others be willing to promote your blog posts. You’ve lost your chance with me, but I’m sure some individual, with a smaller readership and less traffic, would be willing to work with you. My traffic would have given you the boost you need. I have several thousand visits a day. I do apologize for not being able to go through with our interview. I believe your experience would have inspired my readers, but your illiterate style of writing would have made it difficult for them to comprehend. Also, I do not appreciate the comments about me in your comment section. I do not have any screws loose and found the remarks of you and your few followers very childish. I see why they read your blog. Evidently they are of the same education level as you. I tried to comment, but evidently you have blocked me from your comments section. This is fine, as I can guarantee that not one of my 20 thousand followers will ever visit your blog. I do regret reaching out to you. It was at the suggestion of another blogger. Good luck with your endeavors. You’ll need it.”
For Every Mean Blogger There Are Wonderful Ones By The Barrel
This bloody email made me laugh, I tell you.
She needed to inform me of my loss and my pending doom.
And of her traffic stats and her following stats.
But don’t feel daunted. Because for every mean person like this there are several who are just awesome.
Here are some of the comments to the post she referred to.
Swapna says:June 20, 2012 at 12:20 am
Just downloaded the e-book and so excited to read it. Vanita my friend, you are blessed because you are as real as one can be. Many of us would love to be as frank as you are on your blog but just don’t have the guts. You do and you are proud to be what you are. That is precisely why I love your blog and its voice. And even though I don’t have cuss words on my blog, I would never hesitate in linking up to your blog because if we are not true to ourselves then who are we? Keep going girl !!
Swapna recently posted..Meet the mom bully
Capability says:June 20, 2012 at 7:47 am
Congrats on taking a not great experience an turning it around – and into an ebook no less! You do have that “I swear” warning and I like it – all authentic all the time is the way to go! Tweeted, FB and tried to pen in Evernote but got shut out – going to turn on my computer to read this – many thanks!
Capability recently posted..A Million Miles from Boston – Book Giveaway
Kayla says:June 20, 2012 at 5:11 pm
So, firstly, I LOVE your blogging voice; don’t you dare change! Second, congratulations on your book. 6.5 hours is incredible ^.^
You can read Kayla’s post at the link above.
And to top it off, RealMomma.com, a recent client, emailed me she was writing a post and wanted to know what advice I’d give fellow mompreneurs. She then published a review of my design service where she included my advice.
There is Support in Blogging
Don’t let the insecure meanies pull you down.
There are people who will be attracted to you for being you.
I’ve made so great blogging friends in the past year too.
So be confident and go forward my sistah.
You will find your place.
You will be loved.
Thumbnail credit: Lovrencg via PhotoXpress