Advice Needed From “The Moms Who Blog” Perspective
Ahhh …when life was simpler
Ya know that great feeling you get when you know YOU are your kids’ idol?
Like when your 3 year old says “Mommy I wanna be just like you”.
Or your 7 year old says “Mom I’m going to be just like you when I grow up”.
Precious, isn’t it?
Then they become tweens and they don’t want to be like mommy, they want to be their own persons?
Or even worse, they find new idols.
bloody ungrateful twerps i tell ya’.
Well my teens are now in this phase where they have a better understanding of what moms does and are pretty interested.
So interested that they decided to create their own blog.
It’s up, though it’s still blank, I need to give it some mommy designer TLC.
Yes, my teens will be blogging. They want to voice their opinions, speak out against unfairness and share with their peers.
I bought the domain and with hosting from Selby being so affordable, they have their own WordPress site.
I banged my head for days before being able to come up with a blog name that would suit both of them. Then I overhear the teens discussing immigration and their thoughts on the Secure Communities program abuse of loopholes, and the blog name hit me.
So we’ve got the self hosted WordPress site, we’ve got the domain name, we’ve got the topics and tagline figured…
Here’s where I need advice.
Y’all know I have no problem using my real name and my picture on my sites and social media platforms. Many also know I live in NYC.
I’m having trouble deciding what to do about the teen’s presence.
Older teen learned about making herself marketable to colleges this year. It’s her junior year in High School and she understands the importance of networking and wants to use her real name and picture to start building her web presence. Younger teen understands the logic behind this and agrees.
Mommy is all frazzled and worried about the online exposure.
Though we’ve agreed they will have Linkedin accounts once their blog is established, the only other platform I may have them join is Facebook.
Yes, I said Facebook. Though I’m not a big fan to say the least, I do plan to evaluate it for the purpose of them connecting with teens with similar interests and I will be monitoring usage.
Their argument is no one will take them seriously if using a fake persona.
The marketer in me agrees.
The mommy in me says hell bloody no.
So, moms, being moms who blog, that understand the blogging world and social media platforms, what would you advise?
Both girls are interested in the benefits running a blog will have on their college applications. Hell they’re both reading my copy of 31 days to a better blog. They’re talking editorial calendar and delegating tasks to each other and organizing themselves.
Though we are all concerned about the safety of our kids online, does it apply in this case?
Should I continue to shelter teens who are mature enough to handle themselves online and have no problems with me monitoring their usage?
Being moms who blog that understand the blogging world and social media platforms, what’s your advice? <–Click to Tweet
I should have mentioned this but really didn’t put it into words until I responded to a comment:
Personal details will definitely be left out, school info, location, etc. their last names are different from mine, so we won’t even consider using that and that makes me feel better though i don’t know how to get around Linkedin without a last name as oldest wants to connect with school’s alumni.
on facebook i can use their first name and website as last name, so that’s easy. i’m not sure about picture though. i have posted their pictures here and maybe their first names, but never their last names nor their school info or exactly where we live…blah it’s all so confusing.
They both want to write to help influence their peers when it comes to education and socializing and give them family life to relate to, like what it feels like being a middle child, how to cope with little sisters, etc. the thing is, they think big. they don’t want to “just write”, they want to influence.
I am also worked up about online safety – can they be themselves without clearly using their real names? Junior in High School can express herself and use blog to showcase writing and range while still not posting name/too many personal deets.
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Personal details will definitely be left out, school info, location, etc. their last names are different from mine, so we won’t even consider using that and that makes me feel better though i don’t know how to get around Linkedin without a last name as oldest wants to connect with school’s alumni.
on facebook i can use their first name and website as last name, so that’s easy. i’m not sure about picture though. i have posted their pictures here and maybe their first names, but never their last names nor their school info or exactly where we live…blah it’s all so confusing.
they both want to write to help influence their peers when it comes to education and socializing and give them family life to relate to, like what it feels like being a middle child, how to cope with little sisters, etc. the thing is, they think big. they don’t want to just write, they want to influence.
Vanita Cyril recently posted..Advice Needed From “The Moms Who Blog” Perspective
You have a very valid point, Vanita. You’ve got the right idea. Zero personal details. Keep the first names. Or use a pen name to blog. Only don’t connect social media sites to blog. Then again, that’s an issue because sharing is the name of the game these days. Hmm. Tough decision. Even if all things are kept separate, eventually, social interaction will make it easy to figure out who’s who. My son blogs in his own name and his website is in his own name
No social media though (he’s 14). Although people who know me will easily know he and I are related.
Congratulations to your girls – I love how organized they sound and their enthusiasm is exciting. You can have an anonymous blog so long as there is no personally identifying info.
Vidya Sury recently posted..Soul Giggles
them being so organized makes me seem bloody lazy. seriously girl. lol
You had me at Facebook.
Can’t get passed the fact you have a jr in HS w no FB account. Give that girl and account right now! Totally spy on her and have all the passwords and make sure she friends grandmas and aunts and uncles (that’ll keep her honest). Seriously, it’s like childabuse.
RE: blogging. Duh. Do it. Do it soon. The personal details are going to be there, whether spelled out with name, addresses, zipcode, or not. It’s what makes a blog a blog. But her mama will be prowling nearby, sharing, conversing, regulating, bodyguarding, commenting. It’ll be ok w your watchful eye.
But for pete’s sake, give that girl a FB account already. (if she has a cell, she already has a twitter — bet on it.)
kathykate recently posted..Summertime Daughter Grows Up
these girl really only know aol messaging. lol. they’ve been asking me for facebook account for 2 years now cause “all their friends” have it but the one mom in the bunch who knows social media won’t let them. lmao. i’m cruel that way.
This is such a tricky topic.
My neice turned 14 and just got an account for FB…I can’t even imagine her blogging but she does have a powerful voice and opinion. I mean lots of good can happen from this, but you have to be very vigilent.
Kimberly recently posted..Hair
since they won’t have 60 million social media platforms, i think i can keep up. lol. i’ll have to give up something…g+? lol
today, we came across http://teenscanwritetoo.wordpress.com/ and it links to other teens with blogs the girls can network with, and from what i’ve seen, they’re all using a full name. not sure if it’s a pen name. they’re teens and writers and some are published. talk about bloody ambition!
Vanita Cyril recently posted..Advice Needed From “The Moms Who Blog” Perspective
I like the parameters you have set up for them, and I’m sure you’ll be great about monitoring them. Plus if it’s something they’re totally excited to do and they’re using it for good, not evil
I would say a wholehearted: Yay! let them do it! You know, I’m sure many teens wouldn’t have the maturity to be able to deal with something like this, but it sounds like you have everything worked out. Honestly, there are so many ways teenagers can get themselves into crazy trouble besides online, at least you have a way to keep tabs…
Artchoo recently posted..What’s an ATC?
that’s what i was thinking girl! better keep them occupied and focused here than bored and wanting to hang on building stoops with friends. my girls have some really smart friends that have ambitions and goals like them, but those friends have friends who i prefer not influencing my kids, ya know? yes, i actually do know who’s friends with who around here lol and i know who most their mamas are!
I really wish I could help you here Vanita, but I have no idea! I’m not a mom. I know MY mom is still unsure about everything I do online, so I think regardless of what direction you take, that mom in you will always worry. I must say though, I’m really impressed with your kids taking this so seriously! Once everything is up and running, you be sure to point me in the right direction and I’ll be their first subscriber/follower ^.^
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i definitely will send you the link! thanks so much for always being so supportive Kayla. you are definitely one cool chick!
Okay. I’m NO mom, but…
It’s a big step for any parent (mom or dad) to ‘grant’ their kids access to the big bad world of internet. But… time has changed since some of us browsed the internet. I’m not saying it’s the ‘safest’ place, but I’d rather see my kid blogging than hanging around in a bar or club. Like I said, time has changed. The younger generation is much more aware of things happening on the internet. Communicating with peers via msn, facebook and the likes is just as common as talking in the classroom.
Phones? Same thing. I bet they don’t go anywhere without a phone. For them it’s ‘a first line of communication’ and makes them reachable all the time. For friends, but parents too.
What I’m trying to say is: give them some credit. If they are half as smart as you are they know what to expect and what to do if ‘something weird’ happens.
JanB recently posted..Do you have Time to Kill
i completely agree with you Jan. my girls are smart enough to avoid the new weirdo neighbors, then can avoid weirdos online! lol. and social media use is common in older teen’s high school. heck, the teachers have blogs and fanpages and for certain reading assignments they have the students leave comments there
What a great topic.
Here are some thoughts. On the FB photo why not use the logo and then for the timeline a version of the banner.
I din’t think you would be wrong to use first and last name but I would err on the side of being conservative. I think you can build a persona that is anonymous and then announce the real identity at a later date. A doctor blogged as Dr. Anonymous for a long while then after several years announced his true identity. He hadquite a good following even without the persona to begin with.
Do you think the colleges would accept being told their blogs without really knowing it is them. If m
Not then consider revealing real personas.
On linked in could you list their site as a company of yours on linked in. This may not work…
I am not a big fan of FB for teens as the bullying can follow their homes. I did like what Katy had to say about fully spying on them if they are on FB!
Good luck!
thank you for the great advice Rajka! i created a fb account for younger teen and both i and her godmother friended her so we’ll be keeping a close eye on her! older teen just wants a linkedin account. no fb. she wants to connect with her teachers and some alumni and linkedin allows for first name last initial, so we’ll be doing that before school starts.
Well, you know how young my kids are so we aren’t there yet but I rarely ever use their full image or names anywhere because I want to protect them for as long as I can, but I know that time will come where I can’t. But I think teens are still too young to know what the future will hold and I would say no to the names. Linkedin can have their blog url etc, for colleges, but they should use just their first name or a nickname for now. It can always be changed later but you can never unchange it.
Charlene ( recently posted..Brasil Inspired Fashion at Macy’s
i agree, so since the teens have a different last name then me, younger teen is using my last name on FB and her godmother and i are listed as friends, plus i have password. god another page to check in on. i should start charging her as i charge clients.
I think your approach is right. So long as there are parameters and goals and some restrictions, I think blogging will be great for them. Maybe, it would help them to avoid being or feeling the need to be so personal by sticking to one niche (as your last post suggested). So, since they already have some interests, maybe just go with that and grow from that. That should be awesome! I hope to see their blog soon!
Jessica recently posted..Yes, in 100 degree heat we attended the National Independence Day Parade of 2012
girl would you believe they have drafts saved already? i’ve only had a chance to review and post one each so far!
Tough one. I do like that they’re so enthusiastic and have a clear vision of what they want for the blog.
I say, go forth and blog and maybe limit the social media platforms. Also, first names but nothing more, but I’m sure you already have that covered. Good luck to your girls!
Alison recently posted..Things I’ll Miss And Things I Won’t
thanks mama! they’ve got about 4 drafts each saved for me. sick as a dog and don’t want to look at my screen so i’ve only reviewed one each so far and published. i haven’t even gone over image use yet. hehe
I don’t post many details about myself or children so I definitely know where you are coming from. You have to because it is your business. My daughter had a blog (of course the children of bloggers want blogs!) and she uses her first name and age only and I approve before she posts! Even that seem like too much exposure sometimes but I feel like the educational benefits of blogging outweigh the risks.
Ann recently posted..Market Math
since our last names differ, they’re using their first names and my last names. as vidya and kate point out, it’ll be easy to track them back to me, but i’ve never ever used my ex marital name anywhere, heck i didn’t even have a computer when i was married the first time, so they’re using my present last name. at least, younger teen is. older teen just wants to connect with teachers and alumni on linkedin, and linkedin allows for first name and initial for last name and has better privacy controls than FB. i remember when i was in imaging i would tell the girls i didn’t want them to do my job when they grow up. now that i’m an entrepreneur, i tell them i want them to have their own businesses one day and so i believe this joint venture of theirs is a good start.
Also wanted to say beautiful girls and picture! & that I think it is so cool the want to do it together!!!
Ann recently posted..Market Math
You’re such a great Mom to your Teens. As a Mom we have to support what our children wants as long as it cannot make them bad. Stay what you are now and stay the same to your teens because they are the one who gives us happiness.
thank you Danyelle for your kind comment. i definitely rather they be on the computer blogging than on the street hanging out.
You must be proud of your girls! Keep FB as a pages account instead of personal. You can’t have “Freinds” only fans. LinkedIn is so much safer and your older daughter can list the blog as her business. I suggest that the three of you take an internet safety class and you create a contract including editorial guidelines, what is and isn’t permitted as far as personal information and that you have supreme veto power for any post/status update/etc. that you deem inappropriate. Be their mentor more than their mom here and don’t hesitate to continue to ask your fellow bloggers what we might do in your shoes.
Good for you and your girls and good luck!
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Tamara thanks for all the great advice! we did try the fanpage only route but facebook required that a personal account be connected. so we clamped down on privacy policies and their godmother and i are both their friends so we can keep an eye on things. i’ve got all the passwords and the notifications come to my email.
as for their actual blog posts, i’m editor. 
i’m the only one who hits publish. you can check it out here http://growinguploud.com
they’ve been coming to me for input so it’s really working out well. they both have several drafts waiting for me…not so sure how well it’s working out for me on that end.
Just make sure you help them with Facebook settings and give them parameters of what they can and can not do on Facebook. My rule is that they have to know the person in real life they are communicating with though we are not on Facebook yet. I think there is less danger for blogging.
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